don't think like you do, and you seem to find that odd; I'm not that religious, but Thank God. I love to let the sun Just shine on my head. I wonder where it will shine after I am dead. Always the dream to get paid to sing, play or write. When you're on the night shift
And you have to work all night. I love the term "Til death do us part" But what happens before If it's not in your heart? Every once in a while, there is one: A winter's day with a warm sun you don't know how hard I've tried nd how long I've fought to keep from over and over again repeating a thought. There is one thing I know a lot about it's people inside, when I seem to be out. Don't get upset nd don't have a cow It's only words that come to my head somehow. Seasonal depression maybe I'll go outside today maybe the sun will melt it all away, maybe a bullet shot from a gun would leave me with the feeling
that I'm finally done. There should be some kind of warning to tell you what's in store
when you wake up happy get dressed and go out that front door. There are times when my mind gets so out of sync it's amazing I can write when I can't even think whatever you want you can take hold. A lot comes between sixteen and fifty years old. There's one thing about depression I've found you can spend a lot of time waiting for yourself to come around. Every day there's more papers that I just throw on the stack, maybe I should just burn them all so I can never go back. Call it crazy or a poet's rage I can't stand looking at a half empty page I think as a kid was when I learned to hide. It's seldom you will see me getting deep into me. Whenever I think I'm getting sick in the head I put down my pencil and go straight to bed there is one thing that I always dread if I don't' say it will it always stay in my head? Is it enough when times get rough Is it enoug to just be tough? Look at it there's a missing link my hand doesn't seem to do what I think with you it depends on which persona you show I often wonder which Is the person I know. You seem like a person that would eat all you see I would rather you keep
Your distance from me I hope it wasn't something iwrote that she read the very next morning they found her dead If you want to be a writer here's one tip to succeed never write anything that you yourself can't read. Don't expect me to make a vicious attack I have a tendency to keep coming back I need to call someone and tell them I'm in despair but who would care? This is upsetting, this is insane. why is it that I only write about pain. I can make a decision with just a flip of a dime. But please don't make me think about more than one at a time. Go do some drugs or go smoke a joint, we are not on the same page. If I'm not making my point. It may hurt a little bit and it may take its toll If you ever loved anyone who went out of control. Why can't I get my heart off my back love is what always seems to bring me back. It's so hard being true, i spend more time thinking about what I shouldn't do than what I should do. If somehow you could get it to make any sense the whole thought will soon be in the past tense. I can pull everything together, if I can get my wits about me, but my wits can't do anything if they are without me. In the streets there's just too many *%$##, And in the sky there are more clouds than starsSeasonal Depression: As I get old it keeps getting stronger and somehow the seasons, keep getting longer. I wish that leaves would live up to their name and just leave. Please do hang on, put your seatbelt on we have to drive if we're gonna survive. Put it in the oven and see if it will bake that interesting point you just can't seem to make my house is your house. So that mouse is your mouse a ticket back home what would it cost i went out the back door and somehow got lost. Why do you always want to pop back into my head the only thing I can say is that you're lucky you're dead. Thoughts and feelings Can go any which way sometimes I wonder if that's all I can say. Maybe no rare coins or diamond rings so what, I just happen to be a person who collects things. Am I half crazy can I run this by you is it strange that I think over everything you do. You're still alive when something tears you apart think of it this way it was only your heart. I'm sorry if my eyes give you some attractive obsession you are most likely suffering through a major depression Was it love or did you hate her some things come to you many years later. There are things that make sense to me and there are things that just can't be. Somehow I couldn't resist it and I suppose she always insisted to make it the greatest love-hate relationship that ever existed I wonder if I was wrong or right and I wonder if I will sleep tonight. Sometimes I know I totally miss the boat and sometimes I actually like what I wrote. I often talk to myself in my head i often forget to myself what I said. How can they sell pencils with erasers that break? i have to write slowly I can't make a mistake. A good piece of writing Can make you feel at home If I could do it over I would have married a poem. Everything I see ithink I've seen once before, but nothing could be better than not thinking anymore. I wrote a hundred words today most of them to your dismay. Did you say the word clever? that has been my true endeavor. Do you have enough space? i think I give you enough but all you ever do is just huff and puff i think I finally said what I was trying to say at least I got one thing out of the way and as those words go into play I'll be planning the words for another day. When I was young my mother would advise me she said, "Son, use your time wisely" I see a sign of the human race there's cigarette butts alll over the place. This must be the place where he took his last stand. There's an impression of an arm with a bottle in hand when you have a party it never ends don't you have any control of your friends. During the day i see things in a different light and always wonder how it will affect me that night. I'd hate to be an actor going from stage to stage when I can sit here and just write page after page. I always write in pencil i never write in ink so that I can erase what you think I think. I'm quite sure some things will never mend i was thinking about a love letter I might send. I like you a lot you are a little cutey yet you don't quite fit my definition of beauty. Every day would be the same old play if you never start it in a different way you might see better with daylight you might feel better on a dark night. One of these days i might wake up from this dive and regain the drive that keeps me alive. When your must just seems to come to a halt do you ever wonder if it's really your fault. In my bed where I try to snuggle i often wonder how I will beat the struggle. Somehow things are just meant to be i just wonder as to what degree. As the pencil fell flat on the floor knowing for it there is no cure it may not write forever more. When everything seems to fall in your lap just think of it as one big mishap. Sometimes you have to look at your table and look at your chair as if no one else was ever there. I don't think there is anything heavier than pure, solid lead except for that thought that I have in my head. If you could take out the old and bring in the new then I could forget that I ever met you. Some things are good and some things are bad some things are happy and some things are sad. I thought I might see better if i put on a light but all that it did was make the fog bright Someday when it looks like we're losing losing you and me just when it looks like it's over, we'll pull off a victory. How we did it just you and me will always be a mystery i took up reading and I read and read to try and find something that was never once said...

I love you today"